Although I could never write anything that's ultra-violent and/or nilhilistic (like "American Psycho"), neither do I want to write cloying, sugar-coated stories with impossibly virtuous people, or stories that pound their morality into the reader with a lead pipe. Yes, I want characters to enjoy happy endings, but the road to that point is fraught with obstacles from without and within.

I thought about what your ex-girlfriend said about marriage: "Where we each do our own thing and come together occasionally." I agree that is a sorry state for a marriage to be in. I want my heart to be linked with my partner's; I want to feel attached to him even when we're apart; I want to be able to talk to him about the concerns that are most important to me; I want him to desire me both sexually and emotionally; I want him to be able to accept my nurturing. Maybe I decided to get separated because I'm becoming more sure of what I really want in a marriage -- and know that I'm not getting it right now. I've known this for a while, but didn't act on it before because this is my second marriage and I wanted to wait to see if I would eventually come to fall passionately in love. Of course, it just doesn't happen that way. Love isn't a faucet I can just turn on and off at will.

"Conventionally minded", in my opinion, means watching Must-See TV on Thursday nights. Thinking that TGIFriday's is the epitome of good dining. Automatically choosing to watch the films with the grooviest special effects. Scheduling one's weekends around televised sporting events. Agreeing with everything that Rush Limbaugh says. Not reading anything except the "Life's Little Instruction Books" -- and then trying to follow every one. Being proud of America without knowing its true history. Defining "theater" as "Phantom of the Opera". Being content with the way things are without trying to expand one's horizons. (You're not like that -- I can tell.)

I do need someone with "warmth and caring, gentleness and kindness, patience and reserve", someone who can warm me with the sunshine emanating from his heart.

I don't believe that a work of art can change people's attitudes about a particular topic (and if you write with that goal in mind, you are in all likelihood doomed to fail). But it can, if you do it right, get people to think.

It's hard for me to talk about favorite playwrights, however, since I usually read/see plays by subject matter, not by author. It's true with stage plays as with novels: you will not enjoy each work of an artist equally.

I don't try to model myself after a particular writer. All I try to do is to tell the stories that are important to me in the language I want to use.

I wish I was a bird. A bird's mind is too small to dream of wanting more.

I feel like I have a treasure chest of love and passion and playfulness and good times inside of me, waiting for the man who has the key to come and unlock it.

The person you love should be FOR you, not against you. A person who is critical, negative, and withholding does not have your best interests at heart.

I feel that I have unhealthy attachments to certain images -- like the "hero" who permeates all of my ideals about men. He looks a certain way, talks a certain way, acts a certain way -- and, I judge the men I see by how close they come to this ideal.

The good news is that your computer is linked to a giant sea of information. The bad news is that you can get lost in that sea if you're not careful. I have to be vigilant, lest I lose time in meaningless web-surfing.

The truly liberated woman does not blindly swallow ideology, whether it comes from left or right. The truly liberated woman can think for herself.

The truly tolerant woman may not agree with all ways of life, but she is tolerant of the choices that others make.

It's no fun to be a bitch. Not just for everyone around you, but yourself as well. So why do it? There is a gulf of difference between expressing yourself with confidence and demanding that your needs be met yesterday.

No job is more frustrating -- or futile -- than trying to change other people.
We have been taught that it is our role -- even our duty -- to change the ones we love, especially our men. That is a myth.
If you feel that you cannot live with a man unless you overhaul his personality, you should really ask: Why do I want him in the first place?

Forgiving people doesn't mean you have to love them, be friends with them, or even allow them back into your life. It is possible to forgive a highly toxic person and still steer clear of him or her. It is called self-protection, and there's nothing wrong with that.

When you hear someone screaming his or her head off in anger, don't reflect their anger back at them. Feel pity instead. They are not happy.

Use therapy and/or self-help books as tools, not crutches. Remember, some of us don't really need them.

The first step in not being a victim is to stop thinking of yourself as one.

If someone does wrong to me, I may be owed restitution, but not an apology. A person is either sorry, or not. An insincere apology is as good as none at all.

Do not dump your anger onto others and then ask why they're not sympathetic to your problems. Support must be asked for kindly, not pushed away thoughtlessly.

Man creates a God who hates because man wants an alibi for his own hatred. "God hates this, so we must hate this, too."

Why does the bar of soap you use in the shower run out faster than the bar of soap you use to wash your hands?

Be wary of groups that demand you swallow all of their philosophy. A group which allows no dissent, even partial dissent, is one step away from a cult.

Just because people are related by blood doesn't mean that reconciliation -- in the sense of having a loving, friendly relationship -- is always possible, or even desirable.
Some family members will refuse to have anything to do with you no matter what you do. (It always takes two to reconcile.) Some family members are so emotionally dangerous that steering clear of them is in your best interests.
Don't believe that anything less than perfect reconciliation is a failure. If it happens, great. If not, well, life has other joys.

We've all heard of near-death experiences. But too many of us are having near-life experiences.

The means by which we create meaning may not always be meaningful.

Death is the death of creativity. (Or is it?)

The Indianapolis 500. To some, it's a sport. To others, it's just a big waste of gasoline.

Holy sex (not an oxymoron) is not the presence of a marriage certificate. It begins with the heart and the soul.

When you think about it, some marriages really are nothing more than pieces of paper.

Violence is not the only solution -- it's just the easiest.

"He will kill me if I leave." "He will kill you if you don't."

Tarot cards, palm reading, crystal balls, astrology, etc. are not ways to predict the future. What they do is present us with options we may not have thought of.

The difference between listening to a wise man and a wise guy is the breadth of our smile.

I used to think that cloth flowers were tacky until I realized they, too, reached for beauty.

A first-class postage stamp with flowers or history or tribute on it costs the same as one showing an American flag.

Brown's Law of Degeneration:
When a train embarking on a long journey
departs its station of origin,
the seats and the passengers in them
are generally neat.
BUT,
in three hours' time (or two),
both seats and passengers
will degenerate into a big heap
of empty food containers,
magazines,
blankets,
and uncomfortable sleep.

"What To Do When He Won't Change". I can give you the answer in eight words: Either put up with his behavior, or leave.